beginning of the ending

They say the matters of love are governed by the heart

Then when does the rationality of one’s mind come into play ?

Maybe its when your succinct gut instinct tells you otherwise

I should’ve seen the signs or maybe I should’ve believed them when I witnessed your perfunctory deeds

Maybe my heart had also agreed but my mind wanted to stagnate in the comfort of the pain

Our last meeting was maybe the sign I’d been waiting for

For the other shoe to drop so there was nothing to salvage any longer

You rewarded me with a new set of eyes that day and maybe that’s why I could finally see the truth for how it was

Our ship had sailed long ago, all the while I was trying to anchor it to the shore

You felt more like a stranger with your embrace that day than the first day I met you

Something just didn’t feel right that day as I was living in the chamber of my fears and finding solace in its pain

I knew I had to speak to you and lay down my truth

That despite all my effort I couldn’t bring myself to see anything other than your sins that became my truth

Maybe if I tried hard enough, I might’ve forgiven you but how could I have forgiven myself had I done that

It breaks my grit even today when I remember the last time I heard your voice

That despite hearing the desperation in my voice to hear your sweet voice feed me lies to keep the facade going

You brushed it off in your arrogance of knowing that you had a new victim playing into your web of deceit and lies

The allure of your new encounter slowly but surely exposed itself in your nonchalance that day

My subsequent freefall was one to be scared of as they told in folk tales

All the hinges came undone as I unfurled my lost sense of self

Each and every time my brows frowned witnessing your actions and justification came rushing back to me

Nowhere to go or escape other than being engraved in my memory

Every time I tried to look at myself, all I could witness was failure and loss

Night and day blended into one another as I tried to stay afloat and alive

I survived it all and am surviving despite it all

Until the stench of your memories haunt me till my tears roll down symbolizing my sacrifice

To the dark magic of the dominion of your guise as I slowly untangle my soul from the grapple of your spells of lies.

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