Cheating.

It feels like I am stuck in a dream

A zone of inescapable alternate reality

The stability of a foundation laid laboriously

Seems to have wrenched apart from under my feet

It feels like I’m locked within the mirage of your fake promises and deceit

Unable to escape the remnants of your deeds that still marr my sleep

To be a witness to the evidence of your confessions was equivalent to crucifiction

As hard as I try to erase the countrerance engraved on the slate my memories

It’s feels impossible to wipe away the stains of your sins that still grapple my soul in pain

It took a lot of looking back and within

To convince myself despite the shame and insecurity your belligerent deeds induced under my skin

That there was nothing I could have done to prevent the happening of such a transgression

I wrung out each ounce of love and acceptance from my very being

Trying to let it subside your own peril

But if it was a frivolous spark that you sought

I hope you were also ready to be swallowed by the charring burn of its infidelity

Because dear beloved as you were

My conviction runs as deep as my bones

That the warmth of my devotion and its lack thereof

Shall trouble you like nightmares as your fears come alive unravelling your past

Your fickle demands and needs

Will now be reciprocated with the same megre intensity

You will always remember me

When you try to search what you seek in all the hollow vessels you chased vehemently

Until you finally fall on your knees and seek repentance at last

But I will not be on the other side to take you back yet again despite what the tears in my eyes and the fears in my mind tell me

Because this time around rather than trying to amalgamate all your disgruntled pieces and its encumbering shards

I’m putting in all my love into building myself up and moulding all my broken parts into a fulfilled vessel that nobody will ever be able to pick apart.

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