Mental Health

I’ve been having bouts of highs and lows recently

I could be beaming and ecstatic one moment

And the next moment will have me grappled with depression and anxiety

It’s getting eerily easy to be alone now

The feeling just is a numb lull that I’ve started to cultivate around

The greatest fears I used to be terrified to encounter

Have now become a confidante in the great scheme of things known as life

It at times gets too overwhelming to feel everything and nothing at the same time

It’s a constant push and pull of the tides of my emotions and phases of my moods

It’s a constant battle raging inside me

Of thoughts overflowing with boisterous yet suffocating intensity

I at times feel like saying so much and other times feel like going deeper into the solitude of my calm quiet

It’s a conundrum of wanting to have someone around to confide in and pushing the rare appearances away in fear of wanting them around again

This duality of my mental state debilitates and procrastinates

Over a period of time this state has been true confidante never letting go or failing to show up, whether I want it to or not!

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